Emotional Pills
by oldhollywoodbaby
Summary: Laura has a headache and she takes pills. She thought it was medicine, but these pills make her emotional! Rob and the gang don't know that! How do they figure that out? Another collab with FiddleGirl!


At the Petrie house….

Laura was tired of cleaning and she had a headache. She called Rob so he could bring her food on the way home.

When she was done with the phone, she saw a container of pills laying around. She hesitated on taking the pills because she doesn't know if it would be necessary to take them. She took a second to give in and took a handful of them.

Five minutes later, Rob came home from work with the food Laura wanted him to get.

"Hi honey! I brought food!" Rob exclaimed.

Laura ran up to him from the couch and gave him a hug and a kiss. What was different about tonight was that Laura got emotional.

"Oh Rob, you're home!" she cried.

Rob was confused when she said that.

"Aren't I supposed to be home?" Rob asked.

"Oh Rob, you-don't-know-what-kind-of-day-I've-had!" she sobbed.

"What's the matter, honey? Did Ritchie give you a hard time?" Rob asked again.

Laura didn't answer and kept crying.

At the office the next day…

"I tried to see what was wrong with her, but she didn't say anything! All she did was cry," Rob complained.

"Let me guess, it's that time again!" Buddy exclaimed.

"What?" Sally asked.

"You're a woman! You should know! My wife is always moody around that time," Buddy replied.

"Buddy, I know what that is!" Sally exclaimed.

"Well it could be that, or she's probably had a rough day," Rob said.

"Well, that could be it, too," Sally replied.

"Hey, why don't you guys come over tomorrow night for dinner and help me see what it is!" Rob suggested.

Buddy and Sally were cool with coming over and then, everyone got to work.

At the house…

Millie came over to drop off a recipe she borrowed.

"Hey Laura, thanks for letting me use the recipe last night! I had such a blast making it," Millie said.

"I'm glad you liked making it, Millie," Laura replied.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow night?" Millie asked.

"Well, Rob just called me and told me we're having Buddy and Sally over for dinner. You're welcome to come too!" Laura exclaimed.

"Well, if that's the case, I'll be the only one coming over. Jerry's out of town and he took Freddie with him," Millie told him.

"That's fine," Laura replied, getting emotional again.

Millie then got confused.

"Are you okay, Laura?" Millie asked.

"Oh, I'm fine," Laura replied, wiping her tears.

"It doesn't look like it," Millie replied.

"Millie, if I say I'm fine, I'm fine!" Laura sobbed.

"Okay, gee! You don't have to get emotional about it! I'm just trying to help," Millie replied. She was really concerned and she was thinking of what she could do to help.

Millie walked away and let Laura be.

The next day at the office…..

"Alright fellas, new day, new sketch! What's it going to be?" Sally asked as she got the typewriter ready.

"A sketch about Halloween," Buddy jokes.

"Buddy, Halloween is not for another 6 months!" Sally replied.

"I've got it! What if Alan came home from work and his wife got emotional and she gets cravings," Rob suggested.

"That's a great idea! Wait Rob, is Laura having cravings?" Sally asked.

"Well, last night she was craving mac and cheese with meatballs," Rob replied.

"I think I know what that means! It means she could be carrying another baby! Congratulations Rob!" Buddy exclaimed.

"A baby? Wow, I didn't think we were going to have another child! Also, Ritchie is going to be an older brother! I wonder how he's going to feel about that," Rob said.

"What are you hoping for? A boy or a girl?" Buddy asked.

"Well, I was wondering what it would be like to have a girl in the house," Rob replied, smiling.

Rob knew Buddy could be wrong. The symptoms Laura had weren't going on long enough to make Rob assume Laura was pregnant.

That night at the house…..

"Okay Rob, just put the forks right there," Laura ordered.

"Alright honey, will do!" Rob exclaimed.

Laura saw Rob put the forks on the table and she didn't seem very clear on where exactly.

"No Rob, on the left side of the plate, not the right!" Laura sobbed.

"A-alright," Rob stuttered.

As Rob was done putting the utensils where they were supposed to be, the doorbell rang.

Rob opened the door to see Buddy and Sally there.

"Hi Rob!" they both exclaimed.

"Good evening, you two! Come in!" Rob replied letting them in.

"Hi Laura, how's the baby doing?" Buddy asked.

"A baby? What baby? I don't know of any baby!" Laura cried, running into the kitchen.

"Gee, what's with her?" Sally asked, concerned.

"This is what I'm talking about!" Rob exclaimed.

Laura came out of the kitchen to finish preparing the table.

"Are you okay, Laura?" Sally asked.

"Okay? I'm great! I feel so great!" Laura exclaimed.

"Doesn't look like it," Sally muttered.

"Millie's running a little late-," Laura got cut off.

"But doesn't she live next door?" Buddy asked.

"Well, she had to run some errands. Anyway, tonight's dinner is home cooked spaghetti!" Laura announced as she went back in the kitchen.

"Rob, I really don't know what to tell you. She's probably had a bad day," Sally told him.

"Or she could be having a baby!" Buddy added.

Sally punched his arm in response.

"Buddy!" she added.

"Well, don't you think that would be a good excuse?" Buddy asked.

Sally ignored the question and she noticed a container of pills sitting on the coffee table.

"Wait Rob, do you have any idea about these?" Sally asked, showing the container of pills to Rob.

"No, what are they doing laying around in the house?" Rob asked.

"How should I know? I don't live here," Sally replied.

Just then, Laura came out of the kitchen serving some appetizers and Sally put the container down.

"Okay everyone, we have some chips and guacamole! Knock yourselves out!" Laura exclaimed.

"Honey, can you bring out the cigars?" Rob asked.

"Oh no! I forgot about cigars!" Laura started crying and running back to the kitchen.

Sally was shocked about Laura crying over cigars.

"Rob, I'm getting worried," Sally told him.

"What's there to worry about? These chips are delicious!" Buddy exclaimed as he continued munching on the chips.

Sally picked up the container of pills and she and Rob continued observing them.

"Do these even have a prescription?" Rob asked.

"Yup, a perfect one!" Buddy replied.

"Buddy, if you're going to help us out, can you please be serious for one minute?" Sally begged.

"We're trying to see what's going on with my wife!" Rob added.

"Alright, I'm sorry! I'll be serious," Buddy apologized.

In the kitchen…..

Laura was getting the cigars out and as she was about to deliver them, Millie came in through the door.

"Hi Laura!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, hi Millie!" Laura replied.

"Am I late?" Millie asked.

"No, we haven't started dinner yet and Buddy and Sally just got here," Laura told her.

"Good! I didn't want to miss all the fun! I had so much grocery shopping to do today, by the time I was done, I knew it was around the time I start getting ready to come over," Millie explained.

"It's fine, Millie! I'm glad you're here," Laura replied as she left the kitchen.

When Laura was gone, Millie found a container of pills standing next to the kitchen sink. She picked it up and started observing it.

Just then, Sally entered the kitchen holding the other container of pills since Laura had two of them.

"Hey Laura! I need to talk to you!" Millie shouted as she ran into Sally. "Oh Sally! I'm so sorry!"

"Hey Millie! It's fine! This dress isn't new," Sally replied.

Millie laughed, and then noticed the container Sally was holding.

"Sally, what's that in your hand?" Millie asked.

"This? A container of pills," Sally replied.

"I found the same pills right here!" Millie told Sally showing her the same container.

"Do you know anything about these and why they're here?" Sally asked.

"No, but I have a feeling Laura has been taking them. Yesterday, I came over here and she was crying for literally no reason!" Millie told her.

"Well, Rob was telling me about it at work and I didn't think it was true until earlier," Sally added.

"Could it be possible that these pills are making Laura so emotional?" Millie asked.

"They're not prescribed," Sally added, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I don't see any prescription," Millie said, observing the container.

"What if they were, but she took off the label?" Sally asked.

"That could be it, too," Millie replied.

"I think we should put the containers of pills back right where we found them," Sally told her.

"Yeah, it's none of our business," Millie added.

Millie put the container she was holding back to the kitchen sink and Sally kept hers in her dress pocket since the other container was from the living room.

Just then, Laura came back in the kitchen.

"Hey Sally, what are you doing in here?" she asked.

"Oh, I-uh was getting a-uh-a glass of uh-water," Sally stuttered.

Due to the stuttering, Laura didn't believe her, but she went along with it.

"I can get that for you! Just go back to the living room," Laura told her.

Sally nodded and went back to the living room.

"Did you take one yet?" Rob asked.

"No, I was going to, but Laura came in," Sally whispered, taking the container out of her pocket and put it back on the coffee table.

"Why are we whispering?" Buddy asked.

"How about this, I'll take a pill and I'll see if this is the reason Laura is crying so much," Rob said and his co-workers agreed to the idea.

"Are you going to take it now?" Sally asked.

"No, maybe tomorrow or later tonight. I don't want Laura catching me with these because these could possibly be the reason she's crying," Rob replied.

"I think these could be the reason too. Millie and I were discussing it in the kitchen," Sally said.

"Millie's here?" Rob asked.

"Yeah, she's with Laura right now," Sally replied.

"Did you know she was coming?" Buddy asked.

"Yeah, I just forgot she doesn't come in through the front door," Rob said.

Laura came back in the living room with five cups of water.

"Here is a glass of water for each and every one of you!" Laura exclaimed as the tray she was holding for the waters slipped out of her hands and the glasses were shattered with water spilled everywhere.

"Oh gee," was all Buddy could say and Laura began sobbing, again.

"Why did this have to happen? I wa trying to be careful and now the floor is ruined," she cried.

"It's just water! Nothing's going to happen to the floor! It's just wet," Rob replied.

"Hey, this happened last night with my wife! Except she fell on her back by tripping on one of the broken glasses," Buddy said, receiving a glare from Rob and Sally.

"What do I do!" Laura cried.

"Hold on, Laura! We'll help you!" Sally exclaimed as she started picking up glasses and Millie grabbed a towel to dry the floor. Rob tried to calm Laura down.

"Honey, it's okay! Accidents like this happen," Rob told her.

"Yeah, remember the one time I was living at your house and when I was trying to help you serve the coffee and dessert, but we shattered those heirlooms?" Buddy asked.

"Buddy, you were the one who shattered those heirlooms! If I hear another joke from you, you might as well leave!" Rob yelled.

"What if Sally's making jokes and I wanna say a little something?" Buddy asked.

"Well, that will be an exception. Other than that, no more jokes! You've already made enough!" Rob exclaimed.

"Here's a better idea, Rob! If Buddy makes another joke at another wrong time tonight, make him put a piece of this shattered glass in his mouth so he can shut up," Sally suggested, holding up a piece of the glass.

Rob turned to Laura who looked very upset.

"Honey, why don't you check on Ritch?" Rob asked. Laura nodded her head and left the living room.

"Are those all the pieces, Sally?" Millie asked.

"Seems like it!" she replied.

"Oh, I forgot to say hello!" Millie exclaimed.

"Hi Millie!" Rob and Buddy replied.

Millie sat down on the chair.

"Rob, do you think the pills are the reason why Laura is crying over everything?" Millie asked.

"Maybe! He's going to test one out and see if the pills are it," Buddy replied.

"She didn't ask you!" Sally exclaimed, punching Buddy's arm.

"Wait, how do you know about the pills?" Rob asked.

"I saw another container in the kitchen," Millie replied, getting up to grab the container and show him.

"How many of these did she get?" Rob asked.

"If you ask me, I don't know! She must've taken more than two since she's acting like a child," Millie said.

"Do you think we should ask her?" Sally asked.

"Yes, but no. She'll cry, but it'll be worth a shot," Millie replied.

"Hey honey! Can you come here?" Rob asked.

"Coming darling!" Laura replied.

It was no longer than a minute when Laura arrived to the living room.

"Now honey, you know you can tell me anything," Rob said.

"Rob, what are you getting at?" Laura asked.

"Where did you get these pills from?" Rob asked, holding up a container of pills.

"Those? Oh Rob, you don't understand!" Laura sobbed.

"What?" Rob was now confused.

"The other day, I had a headache and I took one of those and I just got attached," Laura continued sobbing.

"There you go, we have our answer!" Sally exclaimed.

"I guess these pills are the wrong pills for a headache! These are birth control pills!" Millie added.

"But what are they doing here?" Rob asked.

"How should I know?" Laura asked.

"You're the one who took them," Rob replied.

"I found them! I didn't buy them!" Laura sobbed, going into the kitchen.

"Rob, I think you should try one to see if these pills really make you emotional or Laura is lying," Buddy suggested.

"Buddy, I'm not going to take a pill to test my wife! I believe her!" Rob exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, you never know," Buddy replied.

Rob sighed.

"Fine, I'll take one tomorrow morning and test these out," he announced.

"Wait, Rob! You could get emotional too!" Milie exclaimed.

"But, I'm only taking one!" Rob replied.

"After you take one, throw them away so you don't get attached like Laura did," Sally suggested.

"That's what I plan on doing," Rob replied.

At the office the next morning…..

Rob came earlier than everyone else, as usual and he took a pill and threw both containers away.

He couldn't believe Buddy talked him into trying a pill that could make him emotional. He knew Laura would be telling the truth, and Millie too, but did Buddy and Sally know? Maybe so.

Ten minutes later, Buddy and Sally came to the office.

"Hey Rob, I just passed by Alan reading the script and he doesn't seem very happy. We might have to do a rewrite," Sally said.

"Why? It took us four days to work on it!" Rob sobbed, as Sally became concerned.

"Hey Rob, are you alright?" Sally asked.

"I tried a pill and these really make you emotional," Rob replied, still crying as Buddy and Sally looked at each other and back at a crying Rob.

**-Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've uploaded a fanfic with FiddleGirl of just the Dick Van Dyke Show! I have another one coming up soon and I hope you're reading the crossover with the Golden Girls because if you're not, you totally should! That's it for now and I hope you all have/are having/had a wonderful day and peace out my poodles!**  
** -oldhollywoodbaby**


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